


To Control What Won't Be

by ChaoticTrickster



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alpha Tony Stark, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And I'm not even sure where this is going, And I'm not following any rules, BAMF Tony Stark, Dark Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, I completely did my own thing, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It's not normal, M/M, Magic, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Loki, Sort of? - Freeform, Torture, non-traditional sex, normal porn is boring okay?, ridiculously overpowered characters, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-27 03:41:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9953528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticTrickster/pseuds/ChaoticTrickster
Summary: Loki is hurt. He's injured, and now he's on Tony's front doorstep. They have a past. They may even be in love. Redemption doesn't really seem so far-fetched for the God of Chaos and accepting him into the fold is shockingly easy.But there are things moving in the dark. Secrets are monsters, and they WILL come to light.In the end, is anyone really who they pretended to be?





	1. A Cliche Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So, this, along with Conviction, was one of my attempts at the Frostiron Bang this past fall. Like with Conviction, I lost interest and couldn't see anyone liking it. And then I came back, and, lo and behold, it wasn't terrible! Or, at least, I really hope it's not, lol. =)
> 
> Unlike Conviction, this one doesn't even have a little bit of an ending, and the chapters are going to be much shorter than Satisfaction. It's a bit different, and I didn't follow ANY rules. At all.
> 
> But regardless, I hope you enjoy it anyway. =)

Tony took another leisurely sip of his scotch while staring out over the beautiful ocean.

The Avengers were all back at the Tower in New York, had been since the alien invasion thing. They had just kind of up and moved into his home. He didn’t really mind, nor would he have refused had Fury decided to ask him, though he might have been a bit difficult about it. Bruce had actually asked, apparently feeling bad about just taking his generosity for granted. It was one of the many things that Tony liked about the man. Despite not really minding though, it was a lot of people who were suddenly spending time around him, people he didn’t entirely trust or want in his lab or near his things. Every once in awhile, he needed a break.

Fortunately, he still had his Malibu house, which was where he was now. It was nice being there on his own except for Jarvis. Granted, when he was alone he tended to miss Pepper more, but it was worth it for the security. He didn’t have to watch his back when no one else was around, and it was, at least temporarily, worth the price of loneliness.

“Hey, Jarvis, what’s the time?”

“Approximately seven fifty-eight pm, Sir.”

Tony hummed softly in response, still watching the gently rolling waves for several moments, his mind soothed by the sight.

“Sir, it appears there’s someone at the front door.”

Tony arched an eyebrow at nothing. “How did they get through security?”

“I. . . don’t know, Sir. It seems he simply materialized out of thin air.”

“Who is it?”

“The cameras are distorted around him; I cannot get a positive identity.”

Tony grabbed the homing bracelets for one of his suits and then headed towards the door. “Get the suits ready, J, just in case.” He wasn’t really concerned. After all, he had an army of metal men that could be run by Jarvis and activated at a moment’s notice, and the intruder was probably some teenager who had been dared to run out and see who lived in the massive mansion on the coast. Still, it never hurt to be prepared.

“Yes, Sir.”

He opened the front door lazily, eyes scanning the area for an enemy even while his posed remained fairly relaxed. He saw no one.

Tony frowned, taking another step forward so that he could see better, only to suddenly jerk his eyes downward in shock as his foot ran into something hard and heavy on the doorstep.

At first, all he could see was green and black leather, but, really, that itself told him all he needed to know. Upon closer examination, he could make out the shape of a slim figure slumped over on its side in the small area sheltered by the door. Lanky legs were twisted at odd angles that belayed the bones jutting out from the skin. Arms were lying uselessly in front of the torso, and the head, curtained by waves of tangled, matted black hair, was resting against the wooden doorframe.

As Tony stared in shock, the head rolled backwards further, and dull, lifeless green eyes met his, yet no words came from that silken mouth because it was covered by a metal gag not unlike the one worn by this same figure when Tony had seen him last almost nine months previously.

“Loki,” he whispered the name through a suddenly raw throat, staring down at the Trickster God. He was the god who had thrown him from a window and rained down hellfire on New York. He was the god who had murdered Phil Coulsen without regard, piercing him through with his glowstick of destiny. He was the god who had walked into a gala and subsequently murdered a man in cold blood. He was the god who had walked through a portal with delusions of grandeur, who wanted to enslave the entire human race. He was the bad guy, plain and simple.

If only things had ever been so black and white.

“Sir, would you like me to contact the Avengers?”

Jarvis’ voice was quiet, yet it still made Tony jump. He took a shaky breath. “No. Not right now.”

He knelt next to Loki, gently laying a hand on his shoulder and trying to ignore the way the god flinched away from him at the contact. “Loki?” he murmured softly, utterly uncertain about what to do.

A hint of light entered those emerald eyes and a soft whimper came from behind the mask. There was a pleading look in those eyes now, and Tony exhaled softly.

“Okay, hold on. I’m going to try and pick you up, alright?” As carefully as he could, Tony scooped up the god in bridal style. Though he was quite dense, he seemed considerably lighter than he should have been. This was confirmed by the fact that Tony could feel the god’s ribs through his leather coat and torn clothes as he moved him to one of the guest rooms.

Loki’s hand clenched tightly in Tony’s shirt while they walked, and though Tony was as careful as he could be, occasionally a soft whimper would slip through the god’s bound lips. Each time the muted sound made Tony wince.

Finally, he was able to set Loki down in one of the guest bedrooms, laying him carefully on top of the covers.

The god’s eyes had fluttered shut, and his eyes roamed restlessly under the half-closed eyelids.

Tony gently ran a hand through Loki’s hair, and almost immediately his motions stilled and he fell into a deeper sleep.

Now that he was resting, Tony took a moment to look more carefully at his broken body. Loki’s legs were broken in several places, so twisted about that Tony was honestly uncertain where, exactly, everything was supposed to go in the first place. He couldn’t see the god’s ribs, but it would have been quite the stretch of the imagination to think that they weren’t broken as well. In fact, Tony really couldn’t  _ see _ most of the injuries, but he knew there had to be more.

Deciding to do what he could for the moment, Tony ran his hands around the gag that covered the god’s mouth, looking for some way to release it. There seemed to be some form of trigger in the middle on the outside edge, and he carefully pressed down and pulled it away from Loki’s face. With that done, he looked down at the god with sorrowful eyes. What should he do? Turn him into Shield? the Avengers? Was there really any guarantee that either one would treat him better than Asgard had?

“Anthony,” Loki whispered, the name slipping through recently freed lips, and there was no mistaking the pleading in his tone.

Tony sighed heavily. He never had been able to resist his god’s begging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, like the chapter title says, it's a very cliched beginning. Hopefully it doesn't stay that way for very long.
> 
> Side note: My Tony is usually an introvert for reasons that I can explain in depth if you actually want to know, but it comes out more obviously in this story than in my others, I think. He doesn't actually like people very much. Rather like me.


	2. There is a rather large amount of blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for... well, grossness? Maybe? There's blood, and a knife, and it's not pleasant, but it's all for a good reason. The warning is for gore. Let's just put it that way.
> 
> You get another chapter already! Because I am an impatient person. Also because the release of this story is basically my apology for all of you who also read Satisfaction, since I have been a horrendous updater of late. I AM working on it. It's just... slow. I figured out why, but knowing why doesn't actually help me fix it in this scenario.
> 
> Anyway. I hope you enjoy this short and slightly disturbing chapter!

Loki regained his consciousness slowly, and the first thing that met him was pain. That was nothing new or unusual though. Pain had been his constant companion for the past three years. The strange part was that instead of feeling a cold, unyielding floor beneath his broken body, there was instead the soft comfort of a bed, a feeling that immediately had him questioning his own sanity. Odin never would have permitted him such a comfort, and Frigga, well. . . Loki refused to allow his thoughts to linger there. It hurt too much.

Another strange thing came in the form of having his mouth free. Though his eyes remained closed, he flexed his jaw a few times, grateful for the mask’s removal. But why? It wasn’t until he caught a whiff of the semi-familiar scent of Midgardian coffee that the god’s memories of his foolhardy escape attempt, subsequent teleportation, and, finally, his half-dead arrival on the doorsteps of someone he no longer knew whether to call friend or foe came rushing back to him.

It was all he could do to restrain a curse.

Of all the places his  _ seid _ could have seen as a safe place, as a sorry substitute for the home he had lost, it had to have chosen Anthony Stark.

Loki finally forced his eyes to open. Now that his fragmented recollections had returned, what he saw no longer surprised him. He was even familiar enough with Anthony’s places of repose to recognize this home as the mansion he kept apart from his businesses. Malibu, Loki thought to himself, or something similar sounding. He had never needed to know the names of the locations to which he was teleporting, so long as their position in the astral plane remained in the forefront of his mind.

The room in which he lay was one of the guest chambers, and it was, like most of Anthony’s things, open and welcoming. The large, curtained window on the left wall that he currently faced was cracked, allowing a whiff of fresh air into the room carrying the scent of the ocean. The door opposite the bed was also open, and it was from there that the scent of coffee came.

Moving without thought, Loki tried to roll over so that he was in a less vulnerable position. This, as it turned out, was a massive mistake.

The wounds that he had so far been ignoring quite well, thanks to the pressing thoughts of where he was and why he wasn’t being tortured, once again made themselves known with a vengeance, and it was all he could do not to make a sound as his whole body protested the rough treatment to which it had been subjected.

Loki let himself fall back onto the bed in his former position with a muffled groan, and then he proceeded to shove his face into the pillow in order to prevent himself from making any more noise. His back felt like it was on fire. Even worse, he could still feel that poison pulsing inside of him,  _ cleansing _ him. He could feel his magic slipping through his grasp, his  _ seid _ protesting the invasion into his body even though it could do nothing.

He needed it  _ gone. _

That one thought drove him through the pain as he pulled off his leather coat, so wet with his own blood that it clung to him like a second skin, ignoring the protests of his ribs. The pain coming from his physical injuries were nothing compared to the feeling of his entire being twisting and distorting. It felt like his entire body was attempting to turn itself inside out, and it needed to  _ stop _ .

His coat was cast aside, no concern for where it landed despite how much he had once treasured the gift from his mother, and Loki didn’t even take the time to remove his shirt properly, simply tearing the tunic in half. As soon as he had access to his chest, he started clawing at the incision point in the middle of his sternum. HIs skin came off under his fingernails, but the pain didn’t even register.

His healing was delayed and severely hampered by his  _ seid _ ’s preoccupation with the purifier inside of him, but the progress was still negligible. Blood poured down his torso and coated his hands. Loki barely even noticed as he summoned one of his knives from the netherspace where he kept them, an involuntary cry leaving his lips as the poisonous energy moved to stem the tide of his magic.

It was worth it, though, as the knife sat in his hands. He turned the blade inwards on himself and started cutting, trying to dig it out of his chest. Blood gushed over his hands, over the glinting blade, over the covers of the bed.

There was a sound like a sob intermingled with frantic breathing echoing in Loki’s ears, but he had no idea who was making the sound. He rather wished it would stop, as it was becoming distracting.

“Loki! What the hell are you doing?”

A tanned hand covered his own pale one that held the blade, a strong grip tightening on his wrist, but he paid it no mind, trying to force the blade in deeper into his chest even as ice shards gathered around the wound. This, in turn, was countered by the waves of purge energy that ran through his being.

A scream joined the sobs, and Loki wondered yet again who was making the noise. Plus, someone was talking to him now. He kept hearing his name. The voice was semi-familiar, but none of it was important because he needed to get it  _ out _ . Couldn’t they see that? It had to come  _ out _ .

“Loki, stop.”

His hands froze, his mind going blank.

He knew that voice, that ring of command, and even though the pain running through every core of his being told him that he had to get it out of his chest, he simply couldn’t move now. It was more than reflex, more than instinct. The urge to obey that voice ran through the core of his being. He wasn’t even sure he could remember a time when it didn’t.

Anthony, because it could only be Anthony, breathed a soft sigh that sounded like relief. “Okay, now, give me the knife.”

Loki startled, looking down and truly seeing the blade sticking out of his chest, the blood gushing out around it, and the ice shards trying desperately to freeze over the wound. The world abruptly snapped into focus, and Loki recognized the hyperventilating breaths, the helpless sobs, and the quiet keening noises as being his own. He dropped the knife, and it fell from his chest, landing in his lap.

“Get it out; get it out; get it out.” He barely recognized the voice as his own. It was gravely from lack of use, broken and choked from the sobs, but it was definitely him breathing the desperate mantra over and over again.

“The knife’s out, Loki, it’s okay, just breathe,” Anthony told him softly, and Loki felt his hand land on his back.

He couldn’t shake his head fast enough. “No, no, not the knife. Get it out!”

Anthony was surprised; Loki could hear it in his voice. “Not the knife? Okay, what is it that needs to come out, Loki? I need you to talk to me so that I can help you.”

Loki whimpered softly. “It hurts,” he whispered, “it burns. They wanted it to kill me, Anthony, I can’t-”   


“Shh, shh,” he hushed. “It’s going to be okay. You’re safe now.”

“It’s still there,” Loki whispered, losing the clarity Anthony’s orders had brought him for a moment, reaching for the knife. He cursed when Anthony moved it away from his grasping hands. “I have to get it out!”

“It’s inside of you?” Anthony questioned, voice hard again.

Loki nodded, letting his hands fall limply to his lap. “Yes. Yes, they put it inside of me.  _ Please _ .”

“Where?”   
  
Loki grabbed his hand and unthinkingly put it on his chest, right over where the knife had been moments ago. “Here.”

“How deep?”

“I don’t know. It  _ hurts _ . It’s going to take it away. It’ll make me. . . .  _ Please _ .”

“I need you to lay down and try to relax, okay? This is going to hurt.”

“Nothing else hurts,” Loki whispered, doing as he was told. “It’s going to take it all away.”

“No one is going to take anything away from you,” Anthony promised softly, and then Loki felt the knife.

It did hurt, he supposed, but it felt like less than a pin prick compared to the pain of the purifier in his chest. “Down further,” he whispered softly, and the knife did as he directed. “A little deeper. Almost there.” He could feel the moment the knife hit the object inside of him. The metallic clunk sounded far away in his ears as the contact seemed to trigger some form of self-defense protocol. It was like the floodgates had opened, and Loki felt his entire being be submersed in the energy coming from the purifier.

He screamed.


	3. I like Tony

“Okay, this is going to be really weird, and you are probably going to question my sanity, and all of that’s fine. I just really need you. . . to not freak out. Okay?”

Bruce eyed Tony warily, like the inventor was going to explode at any minute. “What did you do, Tony?”

“Technically, I didn’t do anything. Well, okay, I kind of did a little bit of something, but most of this really wasn’t me.” Tony led Bruce further into his Malibu house, walking backwards so that he could face his friend while he talked. He led him up to a closed wooden door to one of the guest rooms and then paused, face turning serious and concerned. He ran a hand nervously through his hair. “Uh. . . couple things to keep in mind- I’m not brainwashed. Promise. And. . . he’s not. . . it’s not. . . . Just, give us the benefit of the doubt?”

Bruce stared at him, starting to grow truly concerned. “Tony, what’s going on?” He had been less concerned when he had been assuming that the engineer had just created something unstable and possibly dangerous. Now it sounded like there was another person involved, and that made things infinitely more complicated. Plus, what the hell was with the brainwashing thing?

Tony didn’t answer, just opened the door and stepped aside, letting Bruce walk through the doorway silently.

The first thing that met him was the stench. The coppery tang of blood filled the small room, even though the window was open, presumably to help relieve the overwhelming, vomit-inducing aroma of blood and rotting flesh. The second thing he noticed was the body strewn over the bed. For a fleeting, frightening moment, Bruce thought it was a corpse. Messy black hair, matted with blood and sweat, was splayed out over the face and bed, and the long limbed, slim yet defined figure was twisted at odd angles. It didn’t seem to be moving at all.

“Is she dead?” Bruce whispered, alarmed, taking a guess as to the gender.

“No, he’s breathing,” Tony responded, and, though he had to squint and watch very carefully to see it, Bruce was able to confirm that the bloody stranger’s chest was indeed rising and falling shallowly at a slow pace. “Bruce. . . I don’t know what to do.”

He would have liked to offer some form of comfort to Tony, tell him that he’d done the right thing, even if he knew absolutely no details about the situation, but it was hard to concentrate when his mind had already focused in the injuries. The unconscious man’s lean, pale back was torn open with numerous jagged stripes that looked like whipping wounds. His legs were a complete mess. Judging from the discoloration around the ribs, several of them were broken or at least bruised. One of his shoulders appeared to be dislocated, and overall there was just a lack of nutrition and care. He was utterly malnourished.

“Where the hell did you find him?” Bruce whispered, growing angry at the sight of the brutality he had endured, the Other Guy rising up inside of him and forcing him to take a couple deep, calming breaths.

“He found me, actually. Uh, listen, there’s something-”

Before Tony could complete whatever he was about to say, the figure on the bed moaned and shifted, some of the hair falling out of the face to reveal a sunken but surprisingly attractive face.

It hit Bruce with the force of a semi-truck.

“Loki!?” he hissed suddenly in shock and surprise, the leather pants he wore finally making a hint of sense, though suddenly nothing else did.

Loki shifted again, muttering something in another language, and Tony shushed him instantly.

“Listen, I know this is insane, but, like I said, I’m not brainwashed, and. . . fuck, Bruce, just  _ look _ at him. Does he look like a danger right now? Those Asgardians have some fucked up kind of justice system.  _ No one  _ deserves this.”

Bruce took several deep, calming breaths in order to shut down the roaring of the Other Guy in his mind. “Yeah, okay,” he agreed after a moment. “No one deserves this. Why isn’t he healing?”

“No idea, but it might have something to do with this.” Tony walked over to the bedside table and picked up a small, flat, metal disk that appeared to be covered with blood. It was about the size of the arc reactor in diameter and made of some form of bronze colored metal, only not quite. There was some kind of rune etched into one side of the disk, and it was glowing with golden light.

“Why is it covered with blood?”

“Because it was inside of him.”

Bruce froze, looking up from the disk slowly. “What?”

“It was inside of him, in his chest. He woke up and literally started clawing his own chest open to get it out. He said it was going to kill him.” Tony sounded as disgusted as Bruce felt and angrier than Bruce had ever seen him.

Bruce didn’t comment on that immediately. What could he possibly say? Instead, he tried to examine the disk from a scientific perspective. “I have no idea what this is, but since Asgardian healing abilities are supernatural, perhaps it is messing with them. Why don’t you take it down to your lab, and we can run some tests on it later? For now, if Loki’s not healing his way, let’s try and help him heal the normal way.”

Tony reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, Bruce,” he said firmly.

Bruce sighed wearily. “Don’t thank me yet.” As the inventor headed for the door, Bruce stopped him one last time. “And don’t think that this means you’re off the hook. I still want to know why Loki came to you.”

He could basically hear Tony’s grimace before his footsteps departed.

Then Bruce focused on his patient, fighting down bile. “What the hell did those bastards do to you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look, it's a new chapter. Because I'm still impatient as hell. Just so you know, as soon as I catch up to where I stopped writing before, progress is going to get a LOT slower.
> 
> But, in the meantime, enjoy daily updates. Because sometimes I think I'm more impatient as a writer than a reader.


	4. Clever Anthony

When Loki woke this time, his first conscious thought was that it was gone. The purifier inside of him, the thing that had been distorting his entire being, was gone. He almost could have wept for joy. Without the agony running through his being at constant intervals, all the other pain seemed slightly more real, more tangible, but it was all easily tolerated. Considering all that he’d been through, normal ailments of the flesh seemed almost to be a relief.

For the first time in months, he could finally breathe freely, without fear for his being and death hovering right around the corner. Of course, there were still more than a few problems with which he would have to contend, including the Asgardians who were undoubtedly searching for him now, plus the Chitauri would still be interested in making him pay, but for the moment all those problems seemed far away and inconsequential. He was free.

Then Loki opened his eyes and was immediately forced to reevaluate his situation.

He recoiled from the man sitting next to his bed harshly, nearly falling to the floor. Adrenaline was pounding through his bloodstream, and he probably would have run if his legs hadn’t still been out of working condition.

“You’re awake!” Banner, the mild-mannered alter-ego to the massive green monster that had disintegrated his spine the last time they’d met, exclaimed. He was on his feet in an instant, hands help up in a placating motion. “Hey, I’m not going to hurt you, alright?”

Loki narrowed his eyes, disbelief clear on his face. “Why else would you be here?” he questioned softly. His voice was still rough, but not as bad as it had been and so long as he kept the volume down it sounded rather like himself.

“Tony asked me to come here to help you. I’m a doctor.”

Doctor equated to healer, Loki remembered, but he still didn’t relax. How ironic that such a beast of utter destruction would take up residence inside someone sworn to help such injuries as he caused. “Where is Anthony?”

“I sent him to get some rest about an hour ago. He didn’t want to leave your side, but I told him I’d look after you.” The doctor looked tired, and he pulled off his glasses and ran a hand over his face. When he opened his eyes again, they were weary but intuitive. “I’m guess you two have some sort of past?”

“What is it to you?” Loki hissed, wishing desperately that his legs were healed. He did not enjoy being unable to dodge, or flee, if circumstances called for it.

Banner shrugged. “Tony’s my friend. Also, I’m curious, and he definitely wasn’t looking at you like you were the guy who threw him out of a window.”

Loki flinched; he couldn’t not.

Once again, Banner’s eyes looked too knowing, but he didn’t push any further. “Your healing doesn’t seem as accelerated as what we’ve seen in the past for Asgardians; is it because of that thing that was inside of you?”

Loki nodded slowly. “In part.”

When it became clear he wasn’t going to say anything else, Banner rolled his eyes. “Well, do you think your healing will get back to normal now that it’s out?”

“In time,” Loki responded softly, turning his gaze inwards to evaluate the condition of his  _ seid _ . “I don’t know how long it will take.”

The doctor nodded slowly. “Alright, well, I think I’ll put a cast and a splint on your legs then since you’re not sure how long they’ll be out of commission.”

Loki growled low in his throat and then reached inside him and refocused his  _ seid _ , directing it to his legs. It hurt and left him drained, but at least he could run now. “They’re healed,” he ground out through gritted teeth.

Banner stared in surprise and then his eyes narrowed in concern. “You look a lot worse than you did a minute ago. Here; have some water.” He reached for the glass on the table next to Loki’s bed, and the god flinched away from him. His eyes softened. “Loki, I promise I’m not going to hurt you.”

Loki gazed at him with sad green eyes. “Why not? I brought down ruin upon your world.”

Banner looked down and then shrugged. “Yeah, but no one deserves this.”

Loki’s surprise showed briefly in the widening of his eyes before he was able to cover it. This time, when Banner offered him the glass, he accepted it with shaking hands. “Thank you,” he murmured softly, lifting the glass to his lips.

The corner of the doctor’s mouth tipped up slightly. “You’re welcome.”

When he finished off the glass, Loki laid his head back down on the soft bed, staring at the ceiling blankly.

“Loki?” Banner started, sounding slightly uncomfortable.

“Doctor?” Loki turned to him, arching an eyebrow, pleased that his voice was almost completely back to normal and that his throat was soothed.

He met the god’s gaze steadily, his voice even. “If you hurt Tony, I’ll make what I did to you last time look like a pleasant massage.”

Loki’s other eyebrow joined the first, and he blinked, surprised. “How could I?”

When Banner’s face registered only confusion, Loki sat up, suddenly delighted as a massive, sharp grin spread over his face.

“Oh, you don’t know.” He chuckled softly and then laid back down, arms folded behind his head. “Clever, Anthony,” he complimented, though the man wasn’t there.

“What don’t I know?” Banner questioned as he half-rose out of his chair, sounding alarmed.

Loki just smiled. “I think I ought to get some more rest to expedite the healing process, Doctor.” He closed his eyes and rolled so that he was facing away from the mortal.

“Damn Trickster,” Banner muttered under his breath while he sunk back into his seat.

Loki smiled again.

_ Clever, clever Anthony. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what's terrible? I want to post TWO chapters today....


	5. I like this one

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Bruce. Whatever ideas Loki put into your head, please keep in mind that he is literally the God of Lies.”

“Yeah, I know, but the way he said it. . . . It sounded a lot like genuine surprise, Tony.”

“And you’re basing this off of what? Maybe he was surprised about whatever it is you said for another reason. The point is, he saw an opportunity to make us turn on each other, and he took it.”   


“What could possibly be his motive for that? We’re the only friends that he has in the world right now.”

“He’s a bag full of cats, Bruce. You said it yourself- you can smell crazy on him. Who the hell knows what his motives are for anything?”

“Please don’t tell me that you’re about to use that same reasoning to explain away why he showed up on your doorstep half-dead.”

“Who can say? Maybe he fell for my charms the last time we were together.”

“Oh, right, you mean when you threatened him while offering him a drink? Or are you talking about after we had him, when you proceeded to stand outside his cell and “experiment with” Shield’s interrogation tools while Thor argued with Fury about what was going to happen to him? You’ve never explained that, by the way.”

“Explained what? I was feeling vindictive. The guy did just bring down an army on my city, and used my technology to do it to boot. Not to mention how he murdered a friend.”

“We’ve gotten off subject.”

“Have we? I honestly don’t remember the subject to begin with.”

“Tony.”

“Oh, right, you were accusing me of lying to you and the rest of the Avengers about some mysterious thing that would make the God of Lies apparently incapable of hurting me.”

“Well, to be entirely fair, you are currently lying to the rest of the Avengers about the fact that Loki is sleeping in your guest bedroom.”

“I am not.”

“No?”

“Withholding information isn’t the same thing as lying.”

“Somehow I doubt Thor will see it that way.”

“And are you planning to tell him?”

There was a beat. “I hope I don’t have to.”

“Is that a threat, Doctor Banner?”

“It’s a statement.”

“Well, then it’s a statement with which I completely agree.”

Another longer pause. “Tony. . .  _ are _ you hiding something from us? From me?”

“You mean besides the god in my bed?”

“Tony.”

“Are  _ you _ hiding something from me, Bruce? How about the rest of the team? What do any of us really know about one another?”

“I know that you’re all good people.”

“And does that include me?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“Then why even ask? Bruce, are you really going to take Loki’s word over mine? I mean, come on, what could I possibly have that would keep him from hurting me? You’ve seen my suits. You’ve seen my labs. You know exactly what I’m capable of, and you know that the things I can do don’t even come close to comparing with voodoo from outer space. You know that, Bruce. That’s what the Ultron program is for.”

A scoff. “Ultron is a myth, Tony.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“Hey. I’m sorry I doubted you. He just. . . seemed genuinely surprised.”

“Yeah, you mentioned that.” A sigh. “Speaking of our guest, I should probably go check on him.”

“Watch out. I’m pretty sure his magic is still perfectly operational even if it seems to make him feel nasty afterward.”

“Nasty, Bruce? You can just say “like shit”. I promise I won’t tell Cap on you.”

“Oh, get out of here already.”

Approaching footsteps alerted Loki to the fact that Anthony was now coming to his room, and so he immediately closed his eyes and evened out his breathing to feign sleep.

“I know you’re awake, Reindeer Games,” Anthony sighed, and Loki heard the door click shut behind him. “I’m guessing you heard all that?”

Loki sat up, quickly discarding the idea of pretending not to know what he was talking about. Instead, he shrugged. “Perhaps.”

“You told Bruce that something was up.”

“I wasn’t aware you hadn’t informed them.”

Anthony arched an eyebrow. “You didn’t know that I wouldn’t loop in the great, mighty, all-righteous Avengers? I find it difficult to believe that you’re that thick. I know exactly how clever you are, Loki. Which also happens to be the reason I know you tossed the Battle of New York.”

Loki winced slightly. “I may not have been at my best during my earlier conversation with Doctor Banner.”

Anthony regarded him for a long moment with intuitive brown eyes before he seemed to come to a conclusion. “Alright, I believe that you didn’t screw with my plans on purpose. It still warrants punishment though. As does the New York incident, although I get the feeling you’ve been through quite enough recently. How did your asshole of a father justify this?”

“He didn’t bother,” Loki said bitterly. “Mother is under the impression that I am dead. Thor. . . . I don’t know what Odin told him. He might know and simply not care.”

“Thor may be a moron, but I don’t think he’s that cruel,” Anthony mused, walking over to the window and looking out over the ocean. “Why did you attack New York? I know you weren’t trying to win, so I’m guessing there was another factor?”

“Aye. His name is Thanos.” Though he knew Anthony would no doubt get more information from him at some point, Loki didn’t plan to volunteer any at the moment.

Anthony simply hummed, almost like the entire issue was something beneath him. “So, you’ve fought and seen all of my esteemed teammates at some point or another. How do you evaluate them?”

“The Widow is impressive, for a mortal. Very skilled with deception. She knows how to use everything to her advantage, but she is not emotionless. She has a past and ties that could be used against her. The Hawk has heart, for sure, but something against his family would easily render him inert. Thor is much like a bull. He is a single-minded brute, but easily outwitted. Also, if his attentions could be turned elsewhere, it would be difficult for the others to rein him back in.

“Banner is shrewd, but his fear of himself is a liability. Also, the beast would be easily controlled with the right materials. As for the Captain. . . his morality is black and white, making him predictable. He is easily manipulated, too trusting, his pressure points are clear, and his fighting methods are old fashioned and stale. I didn’t think someone as strong and yet more foolish than my brother could exist, but it seems you managed to find him. A truly impressive collection.”

Anthony breathed a laugh. “Yeah, pretty much what I thought about all of them.”

“I don’t understand what you’re doing with them.”

“The same thing you were doing with Thor, I’d imagine.” He shrugged, turning back to face him. “I’m playing a longer game.”

Loki fell silent.

“Speaking of a long game, where the hell did you go? You disappear for Thor’s coronation, with a plan, I might add, and then, poof, two damn years go by and I hear absolutely nothing.” There was anger hidden in his voice, and not the kind that Loki could brush away with platitudes. This was rage.

Rage that wasn’t going to lessen once he told him the truth.

“I. . . discovered something.”

“Something that occupied your attention for two fucking years?”

“Not exactly.” Loki took a deep breath. “I discovered something that shattered my world, Anthony. And then. . . circumstances evolved, and I found myself hanging from the end of a scepter held by Thor, who was being held by Odin, both of us hanging off the edge of the Bifrost Bridge.”

Anthony arched an eyebrow, eyes flashing dangerously. “Oh?”

Loki couldn’t meet his gaze. “I let go.”

There was a long moment of silence.

“Fucking hell,” Anthony breathed. “Why? Loki, what the hell could have-” He cut off sharply. “Why aren’t you dead?”

“Thanos,” Loki repeated the name harshly. “I was. . . in his care for the past two years.”

“I’m guessing you weren’t treated well.”

“No.”

Another deep breath. “Why the hell did you commit suicide, Loki?”

“I. . . learned that my entire life had been a lie.”

“Really? Including the fact that you promised me forever?”

He flinched. “If you knew, you would not want me. Not now, much less in a thousand years.”

Anthony growled low in his throat. “That is  _ not _ your decision to make. I wanted you when I found out you were immortal. I wanted you when I found out you were a prince. I wanted you when I found out you were a god.”

“And what about those is a negative?” Loki said harshly.

Anthony walked over to the bed and leaned over him, forcing Loki down unto the bed beneath him. “I wanted you when I found out you were a sorcerer. I wanted you when I found out you had been used.” Loki flinched. “I wanted you when I found out you had  _ borne children _ .” Another flinch. “I wanted you when I found out you were an addict.” Flinch. “I wanted you when I found out you were an omega.” This he spoke right up against Loki’s lips, their heavy breaths intermingling. “I wanted you for  _ you _ , Loki. And even though I knew you didn’t see why, I thought you at least  _ trusted me _ when I said it.”

Anthony pulled away, watching him with unreadable eyes.

Loki closed his own, unable to look at him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered softly into the darkness. “I couldn’t. . . . I couldn’t face you anymore.”

A gentle hand moved through his hair. “Loki, when are you going to learn?” Anthony murmured softly, long-suffering. “There’s nothing you can ever do, nothing you can ever be, that will drive me away from you.”

“Not even if I were a monster?” he whispered.

Anthony breathed a harsh laugh. “What, exactly, do you think I am?”

Loki’s eyes snapped open, green portals flashing in defiance. “You are not a monster.”

“I know some people who would disagree with you.”

“It doesn’t matter. You’re not.”

Anthony suddenly pressed their lips together in a sudden, possessive action. “Now you’re getting it,” he breathed when they parted a few seconds later. “Sometimes it doesn’t matter what the whole damn world sees when they look at you. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter what you see when you look in the mirror. As long as one person sees something good, sometimes it’s enough.”

“And other times?”

Anthony took a deep breath and offered a smirk. “Those are the times you go out in front of the whole world and tell them it doesn’t matter.”

“Does it?”

“Of course it does. It always does. But you and I are experts at lying to ourselves; we might as well lie to the whole world too.”

Loki sighed heavily. “I’m tired, Anthony.”

He stood up. “Of course, I’ll leave you-”

“I’m tired of lying,” Loki continued, looking up. “To myself; to anyone else. To you. I’m just tired.”

Anthony gazed at him evenly for a long moment. “Soon we won’t have to.”

“Won’t we?”

“This world is mine, Loki.” He turned and looked out the window again. “And soon everyone will know it. Then we won’t have to hide any more. And if the fucking All-Daddy drops by looking for you, he’ll have to contend with both of us.”

“Thanos may be even more powerful than Odin,” Loki warned. “He will come for me as well.”

Anthony smiled sharply. “Then I guess we’ll find out just how untouchable I really am.”

“Anthony-”

“No,” he cut him off. “No arguments, no debates. You’re mine, and I don’t like it when people touch my things. I am  _ done _ . If they, if anyone, comes for you again, I will  _ destroy _ them.”

There was a brief pause, and then Loki smiled tightly. “You may need some assistance with that.”

“Well, I’ve got you. We’re scrappy.”

Loki breathed a laugh. “The two of us against the galaxy?”

“Sweetheart, it’s the two of us against the whole fucking universe. And they are hopelessly outmatched.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit, I stole the, "we're scrappy" line from my brother. XD


	6. I really wish I remembered some of this stuff

“So, how is he?” Bruce questioned as Tony walked into the lab after a couple hours of chatting with their resident psychopathic god.

Tony shrugged slightly, and Bruce could see the tenseness in his shoulders. “He seems to be recovering nicely.”

Bruce arched an eyebrow. “You sound less than convinced.”

“He’s not himself.” Tony said softly, sounding more hesitant than Bruce had ever heard him.

He was sorely tempted to ask how Tony knew what “himself” meant, but he figured that those sorts of questions were why Tony almost hadn’t said anything at all, so he swallowed his curiosity for the moment. “In what way?”

“He called his dad “Odin”. I hate the guy, he’s a completely asshole, but Loki always used to respect him. He called him All-Father, or just Father, always. Acted seriously scandalized when I called him the All-Daddy.”

“Well, do you remember what Thor said?”

“I kinda tuned the big guy out; when was this?”

“He just kind of mentioned it offhandedly. He said Loki was adopted.”

Tony’s snapped his eyes up to meet Bruce’s own. “Adopted. Of course. Thor said Loki was adopted.” He suddenly swept half his inventions off the table causing them to clatter to the ground loudly, making Bruce jump and Dummy whir questioningly. “Fucking fuckers,” he hissed.

“Tony?”

“Hey, Bruce, will you do me a favor?”

“Uh. . . depends?”

“Call Thor. Ask him about Loki’s true origins, his heritage.”

“Why me? And why would I be interested?”

“Uh. . . say you have some of his DNA and it wasn’t acting like his. Tell him that his healing rates were off compared to Thor’s. Something biology related. You’re a scientist; you want answers to all the mysteries of the world.”

“Tony, I really need some answers here. Like, how do you know Loki? Why is this such a big deal?”

“I don’t know that it is; just a hunch.”

“Tony,” Bruce tried again. “I really need to-”

“Call Thor. You get the details about Loki’s birth and adoption from him, and I will tell you everything you want to know about how Loki and I met, okay? Just, please, Bruce. Do this for me?”

Thor and Tony both had exceptional puppy-dog eyes, Bruce noted wearily. “Okay. But afterward we’re having a long discussion.”

Tony was already halfway out the door. “You got it, Buddy!”

Bruce exhaled heavily, watching the closed door where Tony had been moments previously. Tony had been acting strange, different, ever since New York, but it had gotten a lot worse since Loki’s arrival. Something about the god seemed to bring out something else in the mechanic, something he left out of the list when he described himself to Steve. He was Iron Man. He was a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. But what else was he?

Dummy hummed sadly at the mess Tony had made on the floor of his lab.

“It’s okay,” Bruce comforted. “He doesn’t expect you to clean it up.”

Dummy whirred again, trying to pick something up and failing.

Bruce frowned and walked over to it, finding the glowing metal disk that Tony had said came from inside of Loki. He frowned as he picked it up, placing it back on the metal table. It was hot to the touch; it hadn’t been before.

“Hey, Jarvis, can you run an analysis on this thing? It probably won’t return anything, being alien and all, but at least we can give it a shot.”

“Of course, Doctor Banner,” the AI responded smoothly.

He had been surprisingly silent lately, Bruce noted absently.

“Preliminary report concluded,” Jarvis said a few moments later.

“Display findings.”

The holographic display sprung to life in front of him.

Bruce stared. “Holy. . . shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun-dun-duuuuun!
> 
> Unfortunately, I DON'T remember what that thing is, lol. On the plus side, I forgot what that thing was way back when I was writing it before, so there's still some explanations in the chapters I have written. It's just not what I was originally planning. I keep waiting for that idea to come back to me, but it's being stubborn. At this point, it's probably never going to. Anyway.
> 
> I think there's four sections (chapters) left that I have written and haven't posted? A couple of them are REALLY short though. After that, y'all are screwed as far as update times go. ;)


	7. Jarvis is not JARVIS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is later in the day because instead of working my normal mid-day shift (10-6), they made me fucking open today. Because apparently my manager hates me.  
> Sorry about the language. I'm really, really, REALLY not a morning person, and I was very unhappy this morning. My day got progressively better, however, and it's all good. I'm just so not looking forward to doing it again on Monday.  
> I really like my manager (and someone said today that she loves me, which was nice), but I'm not going to be too sad when she gets her own store and one of the assistants takes over, because no matter which one of the three gets the job, I think they all appreciate me more (or at least are more active about their appreciation; even if she really does love me, she sure doesn't show it). This one just seems to take advantage of my open availability to have me open and close the store in quick succession.
> 
> Annnnyway.
> 
> Little real life rant aside, I hope you enjoy the (extremely short, I'm sorry) chapter.

“Jarvis?” Loki tried softly, not having heard the mechanical butler since he had first arrived on the premises.

“Yes, Master Loki. Welcome back.”

He smiled faintly, “Thank you. I was beginning to think perhaps you had decided to leave Anthony and take your chances elsewhere.”

“Of course not, Master Loki. I could never abandon Sir.”

“No, we can’t, can we?” he murmured softly to the empty room.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Jarvis prodded after a few moments.

“How has he been? Anthony? I. . . was gone for two years.”

“Soon after you left, he discovered that he was suffering from paladium poisoning from the element within his arc reactor. Please, do not be alarmed,” Jarvis soothed as Loki shot upright. “He was able to discover a new element that could be used as a replacement. He is quite healthy now. Perhaps even more so than he was, as he has cut down on the drinking. The Iron Man persona is rather dangerous to him, as you know, but so far he has managed to avoid any serious injuries.”

“You are installed in all his suits?”

“Of course, Master Loki.”

“You wouldn’t let anything happen to him then.” It wasn’t quite a question.

“He is as safe as we can make him.”

“What of his. . . personal life?”

“There was a woman briefly, but she did not respect him as she should have.”

“She was his?”

“Yes. But he was never hers.”

“Was he ever mine, Jarvis?” Loki questioned softly. “Has he ever really been mine?”

“If not, it was only because you refused to take him.”

That stung. “I wanted him.”

“Why did you not take him then?”

“I don’t deserve him, Jarvis.”

“Nor does he believe that he deserves you. Or me. For believing yourselves to be the villains of your respective stories, you certainly have problems with being selfish.”

Loki couldn’t help but smile a little at that. “Anthony is not a villain. His world hails him as a hero.”

“And condemns him the next day for things completely out of his control.”

“He’s as trapped as I was,” Loki mused.

“Indeed.” There was a pause. “Do you ever plan on telling him exactly what happened?”

“I. . . don’t know. I likely won’t be able to hide it for long. How do you know about it?” Loki scoffed. “Never mind. You always know.” He paused. “How is he, Jarvis? Really?”

“He misses being around those he trusts. He misses you.”

“And. . . the rest of it?”

“It grows more difficult for him to bare, I think, but he will be alright.”

“Would you tell me if he wouldn’t? If it were too much for him, would you tell me?” Loki’s voice was just weary, not challenging.

“I will always look after Sir’s well being.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It is the only one I can give.”

“Can or will?”

“I am an artificial intelligence, Master Loki,” Jarvis reminded him. “I can do only what Sir commands.”

Loki fell silent. He knew better, of course, but the subtle reminder had served its purpose.

The door slowly swung open, and Loki sat up just as a haggard looking Doctor Banner entered the room. He said nothing as he closed the door carefully behind him and then locked it, while Loki grew more wary by the second.

“Doctor Banner?” he questioned softly, trying to keep his voice soothing. He was fairly defenseless should the beast reveal itself now.

The doctor threw something down to the wooden floor harshly, causing Loki to recoil in surprise at the clanging sound. The metal disk rolled along along the wood until it fell flat like a coin on the right side of Loki’s bed, towards the open window. The disk was glowing softly with a yellow light, and Loki’s breath quickened as he immediately recognised it as the Asgardian purifier that Odin had ordered to be placed inside of him.

“What the hell is that?” Bruce asked him bluntly, though he was watching Loki rather carefully.

For several long moments, Loki didn’t answer, his gaze frozen on the thing that had, more than anything else, nearly killed him. Through a great exertion of will, he managed to yank his eyes up to meet the doctor’s, whose expression no longer read as hostile. At least, not towards him. “It is. . . an essence purifier.”   


“Is that what you people call DNA?” Bruce asked wearily, taking a seat at the end of the overly large bed. “It’s made out of the same metal as Thor’s hammer.”

Loki nodded. “Aye. Uru, it’s called. It’s a sorcerer’s metal; enchantments bind to it better than to any other. The dwarves use it often.”

“Can you explain to me exactly what it does?”

“I already did.” Loki fixed him with a glare that should have made it quite clear that he didn’t want to talk about it.   


Either he was losing his touch or the doctor was lacking a self-preservation instinct, because he just adjusted his glasses and continued. “Well, could you maybe do it again using more words?”   


Loki hissed softly. “I do not answer to you, mortal.”

“You lash out when you get defensive,” Banner said like it was the most normal thing in the world to start analysing someone in the middle of a conversation. “I lash out when I get angry. I don’t think either of us particularly wants to see that happen.”

“Are you threatening me?” Loki was more surprised than he cared to admit. It seemed he was considerably more loathe to release the monster within himself than this little man.

“Just making a statement.”

Loki considered taking his chances for a brief moment. Maybe he was bluffing. In the end though, caution won. “It was built to alter the genetics of someone of mixed race to be singularly Asgardian. They call it a purifier.”

“You. . . are half-Asgardian?”

Loki resisted the urge to snarl. “Yes.”

“Did they do this without your permission?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Yes,  _ of course _ they asked my permission. Same as they did when they whipped me and broke my legs. All completely consensual.”

Banner sighed, running a hand over his face. “Right. Sorry. Did Thor know?”

“I don’t know.”

“Tony?”

There was silence for a moment. “No.”

“One last question, and then I’ll leave you be. If this thing is supposed to make you into a full Asgardian, aren’t you supposed to survive the process? Why was it killing you?”

Loki looked him straight in the eye with a cold gaze. “Because I gave it no other choice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So.
> 
> Questions are welcome, as always. =) I can't tell you what's up with Jarvis though. Nor can I say (per the norm) what's up with Tony.
> 
> Um, Loki being half-Asgardian is just a personal headcanon thing. Because even in Jotun form, he really doesn't look so much like the other ones. And how come instead of freeze burning Odin he just took on an Asgardian appearance in the temple when he was a kid? There are probably answers, but I don't know what they are. So this is just my spin.
> 
> I think I was gonna say something else.... Clearly it's not important, as I can't remember.
> 
> Till tomorrow!
> 
> EDIT: Ooh! I remembered. I just wanted to say that I have nothing against Pepper, but the what Jarvis says about her relationship with Tony (lacking respect) is how I've always felt. I'm not being archaic and saying that she needs to be submissive and have respect to him and blah, blah, blah, but I do feel that in a relationship the partners should be equal, and it always felt to me like Pepper looked down on Tony and wanted to change him. Mostly it seemed like she wanted to change him. And that irks me.  
> But Pepper as a character is fantastic, she's very cool, and I have nothing against her or those who like Pepperony. It's just not my cup of tea. Obviously, since I ship frostiron way too hard. XD


	8. Now we're getting to the good stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, read the chapter title. That's how I feel about this one. *evil grin* As short (they're all short, aren't they?) as this chapter is, it finally starts introducing what I think is the fun stuff. XD
> 
> I think I'm going to have to take a nap today. Because OF COURSE I have to waste my day off sleeping so that I can get up at 5am again tomorrow. Bleah. I like sleep, but I don't like spending time on it, lol.
> 
> Anyway. Enjoy the short update.

Bruce closed the laptop, ending his skyping session with Thor from Ms. Foster’s house. He pulled off his glasses and heaved a deep sigh, glancing around Tony’s lab. He hadn’t seen the mad scientist since he had run off following his comments about Loki’s heritage. Bruce had no idea where he’d gone, and, quite honestly, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

He looked over at the Asgardian object Loki had called a “purifier” on one of the metal work tables a few yards away from him. The yellow glow coming from the thing had only gotten more intense, and Bruce hadn’t asked Loki about it, getting sidetracked with other concerns instead. 

The thing obviously changed DNA, but Bruce had no idea how. He also didn’t know if it could change things  _ other _ than DNA, or maybe be modified to do so. If it could, if this thing could change things into Asgardian substances, if it could change  _ humans _ into Asgardians, then it was an absolute game changer.

Bruce knew what the other Avengers would tell him to do with it- hand it over to Shield. They could deal with it, figure out how it worked, and if it were to dangerous they could keep it away from the public. The thing was, Bruce didn’t really trust Shield with things too dangerous for the public any more than he trusted the public. When they said they were keeping something safe, that generally meant they were using it to further their own agenda.

Of course, leaving it with Tony was probably just as dangerous, if not more so. The inventor wouldn’t be able to leave it very well enough alone, and even if he wouldn’t hurt other people with it, at least not intentionally, Bruce could very well see him hurting himself.

He wondered what it said about him that he felt the safest hands for the so-called purifier were those of a psychopathic alien terrorist.

Loki wouldn’t abuse it, Bruce was nearly positive concerning that, the same way that Tony hadn’t abused the power that had almost taken his life. Loki hated the thing, which meant he would want to keep it out of the hands of anyone else, and he was terrified of it, which meant he wouldn’t want to use it himself. Of course, there was always the possibility of him losing it, but that was a possibility no matter to whom Bruce gave it, and if someone tried to take it from the Trickster, Bruce’s money would be on Loki.

He sighed deeply once again, glaring at the glowing metal disk. It stood for everything in Asgardian culture he had come to hate, from the sheer intolerance to the torture, yet it glowed with a warm light, almost like a miniature sun.

Bruce frowned. “Jarvis, compare the light intensity of the disk now with the intensity of an hour ago. Change?”

“The light has increased by 12.4%,” the AI promptly replied.

It was getting brighter. But why?

Bruce stared intently at the little disk standing and walking over to it. The heat output had increased as well, he noted as he put his hands on both sides of the purifier. “What are you?” he asked softly.

He was so focused on the object on the table in front of him that he failed to notice the shadow in the corner of the room. That shadow, with glowing green eyes, slunk towards him slowly across the workshop area until it stood directly behind him. 

Bruce frowned, turned, and saw the shadow, eyes widening in shock. “Jarvi-!” he yelled, before the thing reached out and touched his chest.

Bruce fell utterly silent.


	9. This is just mush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one and one more, and we come to the end of the pre-written stuff. I am making no promises for updates in any decent amount of time, but they will come eventually. Assuming I don't drop dead of sleep deprivation, that is. :P
> 
> Also, Martisz, you totally hit the nail on the head with why Loki didn't want to turn into an Asgardian in your last comment. Kudos to you. =)

Loki was testing his strength, walking a bit around the small room, when Anthony came to visit him again.

The inventor opened the door carefully, shut it behind him, and locked it all before acknowledging or even looking in Loki’s direction.

The god arched an eyebrow. “Anthony?”

“Have a seat,” he offered, though he remained standing, crossing his arms over his chest and masking the glow of the arc reactor there.

Loki made his way over to the bed and sat down somewhat gingerly.

“So, Thor told Bruce that you were a Frost Giant.” Loki flinched. “Then Bruce told me that you were apparently suicidal. Guess which one I’m most upset about right now.”

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself again,” Loki responded without actually answering.

“No? That’s not what you told him.”

“Male Asgardians cannot use  _ seidr _ . I told you this once. Only bastards and women.”

Anthony frowned but gestured for Loki to continue.

“I was told that no one knew why I could; I understand now that this was just another clue that I should have noticed. But if the purifier did it’s work, if it. . .  _ cleansed _ me, I would have lost my  _ seid _ . So I fought it. I fought it with every ounce of my being. And doing so was killing me.”

Anthony regarded him for a long moment and then sighed softly. “I suppose I can’t really fault you for that,” he murmured softly before walking over and sitting on the end of Loki’s bed. “You know I don’t want to lose you, right?”

Loki watched him carefully, noting the weariness in his eyes, the fatigue in every movement that he made. “I. . . yes.”

Anthony hummed softly in response and then slowly pivoted around so that he was facing Loki, ensnaring him with his intense brown gaze. He gently tilted up Loki’s chin and closed the distance between them, pressing their lips together in a tender kiss.

He only allowed it to last for a moment before he pulled away, laying another kiss on Loki’s forehead. “I don’t want to lose you,” he breathed softly, nuzzling Loki’s raven black hair.

Loki pitched forward, laying his head on Anthony’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his waist. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, and he was. Not for fighting for his  _ seid _ , but for so many other things. “I’m so sorry.”

Anthony gently ran his hands through the long waves of Loki’s hair, working out the tangles with deft fingers. “For what, Loki?” he asked softly.

Loki laid there in silence for several moments, working up the nerve to tell him, making sure it was true before the words left his lips. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely audible, even to himself, but somehow he knew Anthony would hear him. “For letting go.” And, really, that summed it all up. He was sorry for letting go of Anthony, for letting go of the promises they had made. He was sorry for letting go of his faith in the man that he loved, and he was sorry for letting go of his will to live. Was there more? Certainly. But this was enough for now.

Anthony seemed to agree, as Loki could feel the smile on his lips that pressed against the god’s scalp.  “I forgive you,” he whispered against Loki’s hair.

Loki didn’t know how long the two of them simply stayed there, didn’t know how long Anthony allowed him to take solace in the place he had missed above all else, but it felt both like mere seconds and endless eons to Loki before Anthony pulled away, a small smile on his face.

“Well, I suppose maybe it’s a good sign in the end. That you’re willing to fight for  _ something _ .”

Loki frowned, sitting back but leaving his hand on Anthony’s arm. “I would fight for you. For us.”

Anthony regarded him for a moment, arching a quizzical eyebrow. “ _ Would _ you?”

“Always,” Loki vowed.

Anthony’s lips twitched. “Forever?”

Loki smiled back, laying his head back on Anthony’s chest. “Forever.”


	10. Ehehehe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we're out of fucking power. And it might not be back until Saturday. Goodbye showers and clean clothes!
> 
> Also, I worked over 8 hours on my day off without a break or food today. Funnily enough- not the first time I've had to do this, nor the first time that I've basically had to run the entire store. I'm kind of riding a high that the new assistant manager actually fucking notices me, lol. He seems to legitimately appreciate everything I do for people, coming in on my days off, doing EVERYBODY'S job at the same time, and working without complaining. It's really, really nice. =)
> 
> Anyway. I'm not happy about the power, but work is actually pretty nice right now. It's amazing how much better my days are when they let me get a decent's night rest, lol. Hope you enjoy the chapter!  
> Since, you know, that's why you're actually here, not for the random updates on my life. XD

Bruce walked into the kitchen the next morning yawning massively. He hadn’t stayed up last night to wait for Tony to be finished with talking with Loki after he had told the inventor everything about Loki’s heritage and all that he had learned about the purifier. He imagined that that conversation was probably going to take a while, and he had had a feeling Tony wouldn’t have been real chatty when he was done anyway.

He had expected to see a hungover Tony in the kitchen. Maybe still a drunk one. He had not anticipated walking in on Tony and Loki sitting at the table like civilized people, eating a not-so-civilized meal for breakfast.

As he stopped dead in the doorway he seriously wondered if perhaps he was dreaming.

“Hey, Bruce!” Tony called out, startling Loki, if the wince was anything by which to judge. “Breakfast? Loki’s not up to cooking, and I didn’t want to, so we’re having leftover pizza.”

And, for some reason, what Bruce took away from that was, “Loki cooks?”

“I am capable of following directions,” Loki said stiffly, but the words were quickly followed by a teasing smile. “Unlike some of us.”

“The directions take too long! There had to be a faster way to-”

“Get rice to absorb water?”

There was a beat. “Shut up,” Tony muttered, picking up the god’s pizza and feeding him a bite, which Loki took without complaint.

Bruce stood there for several moments before he realised that he should probably pick his jaw up off the floor. He cleared his throat and sat down on the far side of the table from Tony and Loki. Supposedly, it was so that he could see and converse with them easier, but in honesty he was kind of worried that the insanity might be contagious. “So, you’re looking better.” He looked briefly at the pizza and then decided against it.

“My  _ seid _ has recovered enough to begin aiding the rest of my body with healing.”

“Can Thor used  _ seidr _ ?” Tony suddenly asked.

Loki arched an eyebrow. “Did you listen to nothing I told you last night?”

“No, I listened, but if it’s your  _ seid _ that helps you heal, and he can’t use  _ seidr _ , then how come his healing’s accelerated too?”

“Having  _ seid _ and being able to use  _ seidr _ are not the same thing. All Asgardians have  _ seid _ . In fact, according to our studies, all living creatures have  _ seid _ in one form or another. The word is equivalent to your “soul” or “life”. Sentient creatures have more  _ seid _ than plants; sapient creatures have more  _ seid _ than animals. Asgardians have more  _ seid _ than humans, which allows us to heal faster. Some female Asgardians have the ability to use  _ seidr _ , to use their  _ seid _ to accomplish what you would call magic. This does not mean they have any more  _ seid _ than anyone else, only that they can bind with it and use it consciously.”

“Huh. So, I have  _ seid _ ?”

Loki smirked. “Yes.”

“Since the rules aren’t the same for other races, I presume, about who can be a mage, could I use  _ seidr _ ?”

“No. Human  _ seid _ is very frail compared to ours. Trying to use it could easily result in your death.”

“You using  _ seid _ could too,” Tony pointed out, although Bruce wasn’t sure how he knew that.

Loki scowled. “Yes, it is dangerous for me, and it would be infinitely more dangerous for you.”

“I could make you teach me.” Tony said in a very casual tone, while Bruce tried not to show his surprise too obviously.

Loki regarded him for a moment. “But you won’t.”

The pair of them stared at each other for a few more moments, and then Tony sighed. “Alright, fine.” He abruptly stood. “Want some coffee, Bruce? or tea? We might also have some cereal if you want regular breakfast food.”

“Why didn’t you eat cereal if you have it?” Bruce asked, standing to go to the kitchen with Tony.

“Loki can’t stand it.”

Bruce turned and arched an eyebrow at the god, who shuddered dramatically.

“Horrible, tasteless, disgusting horse feed.”

Bruce turned back to Tony to hide his smile.

Tony wasn’t bothering, grinning openly as he made Bruce some tea. “You don’t want to know what he called it when I got him to try some with milk.”

“I still believe you were attempting to poison me then,” Loki called unconcernedly.

Tony snorted derisively. “Sure you do, babe.”

Bruce choked on his tea, and nearly gave himself whiplash with how fast he turned to check Loki’s reaction.

The god rolled his eyes and looked displeased, but otherwise didn’t say a word about the nickname.

“Babe?” Bruce echoed, coughing at the end of the word.

“He hates it when I call him that,” Tony confided before grinning again and returning to the table to snag another piece of pizza while Bruce watched them confoundedly.

“How would you like it if I referred to you as infant or toddler,  _ dear _ .”

Tony grimaced. “Okay, I kind of see your point. Frosty.”

Loki choked on his pizza.

Tony acted like he’d done absolutely nothing out of the ordinary and headed back to the kitchen again to pour himself a cup of coffee. “Want some coffee, Lokes? or are you gonna stick with your tea?”

Bruce blinked. “You like tea?”

Loki seemed to recover himself, and he nodded. “I do, yes, and I wouldn’t mind a refill, Anthony.” He suddenly seemed almost. . . shy.

Tony grinned, snatching up his cup. He hesitated for a brief moment by Loki’s chair, eyes darting swiftly to Bruce’s with a calculating look before he suddenly swooped down and kissed Loki on top of his hair in a brief expression of affection with a glittering look in his eyes. Then he turned away like that was just normal too and went to get him some more tea.

Oddly enough, Bruce seemed to be the only one who thought it wasn’t ordinary this time, as Loki didn’t react to the kiss with anything more than a glance filled with adoration- love?- tossed at Tony’s back.

Tony brought Loki some tea and set it down in front of him and then he took his seat back.

Bruce hesitated briefly and then resumed sitting as well. “So. . . uh. . . Tony-” the inventor looked up, “-I was promised some answers.”

His face immediately grew guarded. “Ah. Yes, you were. Ask your questions.” He waved a hand, giving Bruce free reign.

Bruce took a deep breath. He’d kind of been hoping that Tony would just tell him the story, but he should have known that the engineer wouldn’t make it easy for him. “Well, I was wondering how you and Loki met.”

“A gala or some sort of party or fundraiser Pepper dragged me to.” Tony shrugged, clearly not recalling the exact details. “Loki was a violinist there.”

Loki smirked into his tea, and Bruce had a feeling he was missing something.

“And when was this?” he asked instead, not sure he needed or even wanted to know specifics about the  _ how _ .

Tony pursed his lips, staring at Loki while he thought. “Five years ago? Six?”

“Approximately,” Loki confirmed.

“You knew him during the invasion?” he blurted, despite the fact that he had already suspected. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Tony shrugged, something dark in his brown eyes that Bruce wasn’t used to seeing there. “I didn’t feel like explaining everything to the Spanish Inquisition. Or Capsicle.”

“But maybe things could have been prevented!”

“I had no more idea what Loki was doing than the rest of you,” Tony responded, voice careless like they weren’t discussing the mindless deaths of hundreds of people that maybe could have been stopped with a little more honesty. “When an insight into his personality led me to where he was going to set up camp, I told you all. I knew he’d be at my tower.”

Bruce took a deep breath. “Alright, well, what about before that?”

Tony drank some coffee. “What about it?”

“What was the nature of your relationship?”

Tony set his mug down and just stared at him for a minute before rolling his eyes. “We don’t believe in labels.”

“Tony,” Bruce sighed.

“Boyfriends?” Tony tried, sounding less than certain. “Significant others. Fuck-buddies. Any time you feel like jumping in here, Lokes.”

Loki smirked, setting down his tea that he had been sipping at throughout their conversation. “I thought we didn’t believe in labels?”

“More like labels are more trouble than they’re worth,” Tony grumbled into his coffee mug.

“Partners,” the god told Bruce confidently. “We were partners.”

“Were, Elsa?” Tony arched an eyebrow while Loki frowned at the new nickname.

“I’m not familiar with that one.”

“She’s an ice witch,” Tony explained. “We can watch Frozen sometime; you’ll love it.” 

Bruce couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. 

“Past tense?” Tony repeated his question.

Loki shrugged, looking down. “I don’t presume to know what we are now, Anthony.”

Tony frowned, looking less than happy with that response, but he didn’t address it right then. “Right. Any other questions?” he asked Bruce.

_ Only a million of them _ , Bruce thought wryly. “Why did you stand outside Loki’s cage and screw around with torture implement in front of him?” He’d been wondering about that one for a long time; nothing seemed to add up.

Tony smirked. “I told you- I was pissed at him.”

“Tony, I know you. You don’t condone torture.”

Something weird flashed through the inventor’s eyes then, but he just continued to smirk coldly. “I didn’t torture him. Just making a point. If that’s all?” He pushed back his chair from the table and started to stand.

“Loki,” Bruce called softly as the god followed suit, making them both pause and look at him. He met the curious green eyes evenly. “Why’d you come here?”

Loki looked surprised. “My  _ seid _ recognised this place as safe,” he answered without really answering. “Good day, Doctor Banner.”

The pair of them left Bruce alone in the kitchen as Loki stood with a wince, Tony coming over to walk next to him as they headed down the hallway.

As he watched them go, Bruce’s weary brown eyes briefly glowed green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we come to the end of my pre-written chapters. I hope you've enjoyed it so far. I shan't be leaving you hanging, but this is probably all you're going to get for a while. Until life settles down a bit.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and your faithful comments! You have no idea how much brighter they make my days.


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